Nothing is personal. Not the bad. Not the good. Every person brings thousands of years of their stuff into each interaction — not just their bad day or their bad week or their good day or their good week. When we can really embrace that it is their stuff that is contributing to them speaking unkindly or that it is our stuff that is clouding our hearing of them, we can turn our attention to what is really going on.
We can expand our awareness, & therefore, our perception, of processing our own past, our own hurts, our own blocks instead of getting distracted with this red herring of what someone else said to us or what someone else did to us. When we take this principle first made famous by Don Miguel in his classic The Four Agreements, we can experience a new kind of freedom–freedom from the addiction of kind words & freedom from the fear of unkind words.
Each time we notice ourselves becoming defensive, upset, angry, sad, or we notice ourselves craving or longing or expecting words of praise, words of love, words of commitment, we can check in with ourselves, “Am I taking this personally?” Simple? Yes. Easy? No. And with practice, you may be surprised at how very little has do with you & your interaction with them–really nothing– and how everything has to do with the stuff we bring into each interaction, the baggage we carry.
With this realization comes an opportunity to unpack our own baggage & let go of all that is no longer useful to us, that is no longer serving us. And oh, the freedom that comes with that lightness; oh, the innate joy that’s available to us when we don’t take things personally.
Much love, Jodi